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Happened again tonight.

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Sep. 29th, 2012 | 05:00 am
mood: scaredscared
posted by: phoenix39 in paralysissleep

The first time it happened to me was 10 years ago. I was fifteen. I was almost asleep, laying on my back and the first thing I noticed was that my heart rate had increased by infinity and then it felt like someone had placed invisible weight on my chest. I couldn't move, couldn't make a sound. I would finally wake up and try to go back to sleep and then it would happen again. I thought I was dying. And the sad part is that I was in such a bad place, that I didn't really care. I just rolled over onto my stomach and decided to sleep because I didn't want it to be long and drawn out. To my surprise, I woke up the next morning. Everything seemed fine after I had rolled onto my stomach.

I was doing some paranormal research a few years later and found a page called Sleep Paralysis and it was exactly what had happened to me. I was ecstatic to finally have an answer. It had a name. Other people experienced it. I was not alone in my life. It listed everything that had happened to me. Except some people claim to see a dark figure, a demon, a ghost, some entity by their bed, in their room, on top of them. Thankfully, I haven't experienced that part yet. I don't think I'd be able to handle it. Though, it is theorized that SP is caused when a ghost (for a general term) is sitting on your chest or holding you down.

One of the websites said not to sleep on your back if it happens to you. It's a little different for everyone and some people have said that it happens to them no matter what position. For me, it's always happened on my back when I was almost asleep, so I have trained my subconscious. I do not sleep on my back. Ever. And it hasn't happened again. Only a few times. When I was sleeping on the couch and the only comfortable position was on my back, just a few minor episodes. The only big episode was the first one.

Until tonight.

Also, SP only happens in transition of a dream. According to my research I have not found anyone who has had it happen to them during their dream. Tonight, while going to sleep, I was a little scared because I had turned my laptop off and the light from the desktop usually comforts me and acts as my nightlight since I have scotophobia (fear of the dark). I decided to be a big girl tonight and face my fear. I'm safe. I'm in bed. I said the Our Father and I have a cross necklace on the window sill by my bed. I felt an evil presence in my room, but I chocked that up to my fear of darkness and I told myself that fear gives them power. So I kept praying, "Jesus Christ, deliver me from evil." I fell asleep.

I was having a dream about a f'ing ghost in the room. I was in someone else's room with a race care bed and the bed had been ruined a bit by the ghost to look like it had been in a collision. Then in the dream, the full fledged dream, I was laying on the bed and couldn't move. I tried to talk, could only move my lips a bit but couldn't make any noise. My heart rate again raced up to infinity. My heart has never raced this fast for anything else: not running, exercise, being in love, being scared, or anything in my normal everyday life makes my heart race this much. So I try to stay calm, breathe deep, and control my heart rate because people have f'ing died from sleep paralysis and I do not want to be another statistic. I woke up from my dream and I was laying on my stomach with my arm under my pillow. I was shocked that it had happened to me in a position other than on my back. I tried to make a noise, but nothing. My lips had only been moving in the dream. I tried to move my arm. Nothing. I don't know what changed. Just one minute, I was asleep and paralyzed, then half asleep and paralyzed, then totally awake and mobile. Once my brain finally woke up completely, I was able to move. I laid there, collecting myself. I wanted to go back to sleep, but couldn't. Because it would happen again. I turned the light on and went online. No one else, I have found, has had it start during their dream.

And for 10 years I've felt like I had beat it. Just avoid sleeping on my back and it doesn't happen. Now that it's happened to me on my stomach and during my dream, I feel like I can never go back to sleep. It can happen anytime. I'm not safe. I hate it so much. I wish there was a cure for it.

(not proof-read. Too tired.)

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Comments {3}


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from: fedor_svolotch
date: Sep. 29th, 2012 12:23 pm (UTC)

Yes, I was all the same. Thank you for such a detailed post. There is one method: try to sleep so that the hands and feet were free. Arms and legs should not be bound by any blanket or pillow. And there more to try to sleep with music. Music also helps. Music will show you the way out of sleep, and you can always get out into the world. The music can be turned on just to quiet it was.
These two methods are helping me a lot of years.

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from: phoenix39
date: Sep. 29th, 2012 06:22 pm (UTC)

Thank you for the advice. What's interesting is before going back to sleep, I played a sleep melody app on my Kindle Fire where I mixed the sound of rain with relaxing music. I figured that if it happened again, I could latch onto the music and it could help pull me out of the dream.

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from: fedor_svolotch
date: Sep. 29th, 2012 09:04 pm (UTC)

Yes, it's a good idea!

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